Surprise!
The evening we got to Chiang Mai we got to the bus station and took a grab (Thailand’s version of an uber) to our first hostel. On that trip we were a little pooped and not super talkative after a 9 hour bus ride but Izzy tapped my arm and pointed out the window and said “That place looks cool”. She was pointing at a small studio that said “Skin Ink Tattoo and Layla Yoga Studio”. The next day we were exploring our new neighborhood looking for some breakfast but getting easily distracted by all of the shops and temples that lined the main road. This is when we stumbled on the shop we had seen the day before. We looked at each other and decided to… “just go look at the flash and see what they had”. This of course led us into where we would be spending the majority of our time for the next week. We walked in and you could feel the energy. We were greeted through a window and a curtain by the owner of the shop who told us his flash was in the books up front and if we wanted to talk about any ideas/concepts we had he did that too. We flipped through some books of the artist’s tattoos and sketches and quickly felt like we had stumbled upon something we couldn’t pass up. Izzy had forgotten her phone so we decided to come back later, we told the owner and said we’d be back. He didn’t look like he believed us but didn’t seem bothered either.
It was clear that this place and this artist had energy that we didn’t want to just get a flash from… and we both had some projects in mind that we wanted. So we went back and shared our concepts with Chris (the artist and owner of the shop). When I told him my idea he quite literally jumped up and down with arms in the air saying “fun for me, fun for me”. When talking to Iz about her concept he discussed wanting it to flow with her body specifically and fit the shape of her leg. He continued to talk with us about how he wanted each of our tattoos to not be like a stamp on our bodies that could be on any body, but a representation of who we are and how he sees our energy. His energy was intentional and focused while also feeling light and welcoming. He was only a bit taller than Izzy and I both with dreads he must sit on every once in a while they’re so long. We came to learn much about him and his life in the next week and this guy is beyond cool. He said he needed a few days for sketches and he would reach out by Monday (this was all on Saturday).
Over the next week we took yoga classes at the upstairs studio and talked through sketches with him until we set the dates for our tattoos. He said it would take 4 days to tattoo us considering we were both asking for sets of tattoos, two tattoos per person, one each leg. Me starting on one leg one day, then Izzy’s first leg the next day, then my turn and Izzy’s turn again.
When it came to be my first session I was beyond excited. To share my concept with those who don’t know, it is two foo dogs, one on each calf. Representing protection as well as bringing in the nurturing of the female foo dog and the unity of the male foo dog. The female has a cub beneath her left paw and the male has the woven ball under his right paw. These represent the nurturing and unity mentioned before. That first session was an adventure… initially my excitement kept my adrenaline high but there were some… as we were calling them…spicy sections that reminded me of just how fragile the human body is sometimes. At about hour 5 the adrenaline was pretty much drained and the pain was getting a bit out of hand. Izzy had gone to a yoga class upstairs and Chris was on hour 2 of single needle shading. Izzy came down after her class and we were on a break from tattooing and I told her I didn’t know if I could do it anymore. She encouraged me and attempted to remind me that I was strong and I could do it, I was almost there. So I laid back down and proceeded to squeeze the living shit out of her hand for the last hour and a half. This totalled out to about 7 hours of active tattooing, with about an additional hour and a half of breaks for emotional wellbeing, food, stretching out our backs and of course pee breaks.
After that first tattoo I knew I needed to find something to help me get through that second calf because the first one was brutal by the end. Izzy went the next day, and I won’t speak on her experience given it is her experience. But I will say she was such a badass and I was so beyond impressed with her strength and perseverance through some crazy long lines and brutal shading.
My second session taught me so much about myself. I started out squeezing Izzy’s hand right from the start. I was so fearful of how much the tattoo was going to hurt that I almost tricked myself into thinking that the whole thing would be as hard as the end of the first one. I had downloaded some meditations for acute pain management. So, I put my headphones on and focused on those. The first one was only 8 minutes long but helped me get into a headspace to really sit into the second meditation that was just shy of a half hour. This is when my mindset shifted. I realized how powerful my mind was when guided by those meditations in managing the pain I was experiencing. So I attempted to be my own guide… this is when I shifted my self-talk completely. I shifted from “This is so hard, it hurts so much, how am I going to get through this, I still have so much to go.”… to, “I can do this, you are strong, invite the experience, you chose to participate in this experience embrace it, you’ve done this once already, I am so proud of you for what you have endured and what you are capable of enduring.” This in conjunction with connecting with my breath and a drishti (something I learned the word for in a hostel yoga class, and am loving utilizing) this completely changed my experience. I went from squeezing Izzy’s hand every time the needle entered my skin until it was lifted, to listening to music, bopping my head, and mouthing the words to, of all songs, Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. I treated the pain as a friend that was sharing an experience with me. There was something really beautiful about inviting an experience that scares you rather than running from it. This all showed me that I could truly choose how I was experiencing something, I could enjoy the unenjoyable and when I did that the incredible pharmacy in my mind helped my body manage the pain so much better. Also a good reminder that music is a magic portal… just sayin.
Something I was also very proud of myself for was finding all these tools within myself, not only relying on Iz’s presence to keep me anchored. I was able to appreciate and feel held in her presence without needing her to physically hold onto her. This ignited a feeling of independent strength that was truly empowering. It made me realize that independent strength didn’t have to mean doing something alone. I could feel my own independent strength while also feeling even stronger from her support. What was also amazing is how much faster Chris was able to move when I wasn’t so tense. I challenged myself to every time I wanted to tense and run from the pain, I would instead try to relax my leg and body in general with my breath. The second tattoo with only a few quick breaks was only about 5 hours of tattooing, 6 hours total.
A lot of these lessons may seem intuitive, relax your body, breath, encourage yourself, find an anchor. But when you’re enduring pain the logical brain detaches quite quickly and you begin to act out of the emotional brain and she’s sensitive. So in easier words, that shit is hard as fuck. Pardon my language but if you know me you know it is just how I talk.
The challenge now is there is little excuse. I have learned the lessons, now I have to put them into practice everywhere. Relaxing my body when my alarm systems are going off under stress or discomfort. Utilizing my breath to do so. Encouraging myself in moments of difficulty, self doubt, anxiety. Finding an anchor in a space I am not familiar with. Also the lesson of restraint… so I don’t scratch these off of my body entirely.
So… Surprise! I am sure it isn’t that shocking that the surprise if tattoos but surprise regardless! I attached pictures of the experience and don’t actually have any of them finished together but will update when the second skin is off and they’re looking a bit more healed! Thanks for reading hehe!
Love and miss you all!
Love, Luna
